another sad day...

today is another sad day....and im angry....*deep breath*....=D

this is bad retribution...

stupid weather...stupid everything...im watching my diet already...think i gonna chi zai...and drink lotsa water...and eat lotsa fruits...this cannot go on...
happy birthday shuxiang...i nv insult u leh...i toke nv go thru brain...sorrie leh...although u sae ure joking onli...i noe u cant see my blog...hahaa...jeff..u're funnie...hahaha....squealer...u are also funnie...
dat nemo ar...treat me like sub like dat...no edi den find me....grrr...i noe i invisible lar...put me first team can not...so bad leh....haha...nvm la...alwayz like dat....tak bai an ni kuan...
heh heh...maybe sunday going study wif you...first time leh....hope i will be better by sunday....really gotta watch my diet liao...still feeling zi bei....sadly....very zi bei....u ppl dun try to fu yan wo k...tell me nonsense stuff....dun be afraid to tell the truth...u can insult me...if i noe is true one and not many ppl around dat is hor...i dun mind one la....dun need to console me lor....bu yao ke lian wo....i not lame lor....still can walk....haha...bye blog....dun see i haha to u think i very happie k...i'm not at all....toopid blog...

today...was weird...

hmm...went out...saturday and sunday feels the same...kind of do the same things...haha...haiz...so weird...why must things always be so bad...nv done anithing right...nv had anithing good happening...so suay...pls let me be better...bye blog...

heh...

yesterday was quite a hurry as i rushed home...dunno wad might happen u noe...lucky nth much...haha...nice toking to u on the phone...if u noe hu im tokin bout...didnt expect the conversation to be so smooth...hope ur day goes well...
im going out soon bloggy...dun think im neglecting u k...i dun toke much coz i dun have much to sae...and i forgot wad to say to u sometimes...sorrie to make u blue bloggy....

today is a sad day...

*SAD DAY* bye blog...

hmmm....

weird....weird feeling....possible? maybe not....

rainy day...

rainy day...so boring...hai...sadded...im so useless...i feel so zi bei leh blogg...why u so good...so many ppl think ure useful...although u poor thing keep getting used...hai...im ugly...face hair...everything...i have no talents...im not tall and hunky...i dun have unique characteristics...and im not from a prestigious sch...not rich too...so sad rite....hai...u all idiots...to idiots out there...u noe hu u are....PUTA!!
hai...thx for ur consolation la ah zhen...but i noe myself...hai...it's saddening how frens for so long u all still dun understand me...do u noe the topics dat i tend to avoid talking about? do u noe how i feel all the time? think the person hu gets the closest answer is xiao bai le...but so long nv see xiao bai...hai...k la...forgot wad i wanna sae already...all ur fault la u blog! okee bye bye...

when the dao become undao and the undao become dao...

juz to fascinate u my tupid blog...recently...ppl arnd me have moved quite a bit...*copy and paste the title*...that's all...im fascinated too...haha...cya bloggg....

hai...

blog blog blog...im so demoralised...wad to do...hai...so sad u noe...wad u doing now blog...muz be listening to more ppl...envy u...so patient...although u are kind of quiet...u must have a sad story behind too eh...nv hear u talk b4...hai...been plaeing gunbound again...hahaa...gonna be a fish...heh...but also sian la...not much patience...hmmm...everyday so boring...nothing to look forward to at all...must be retribution rite...i noe...blog...ure smart...but dun overestimate urself though...its no good...
for someone out there who i noe u noe everybody noes....u are like a chameleon...changin and changin...whr's ur core personality? u noe wad u wan...u noe wad u are...but u confuse urself but denying it...why wld u wanna do dat for....if u like a person juz admit it....dun think its noble to stay silent and be wif the person when she's in need....it wont work...and its dumb....and acting weird wont help too....hah....u noe hu u r....u weren't like dat before....wad confused u..? ponder my fren....stop being someone u are not...stop tryin being someone u are not....

hai...

when one thing fails, everything falls altogether...so sad...when i was walkin hm juz now...i suddenly remembered the day we went to take passport photo...so funny lor...the lady asked me the photo nice or not...haha...den i sae dunno...she sae muz sae nice...hai...i'm getting uglier and uglier day by day...sadness makes ppl uglier huh...think i look like an ogre now...
watched twin effect 2 juz now...kinda stupid...funny and sad at the same time...sad for me...hahaa...hai...prelims coming...damn it...another sad thing...haha...aint i dumb...i cant control my mind at all...my heart does it all...hu am i to talk abt this anyway...haha...crap....stupid blog...
ppl hu noe my blog dun tell other ppl hor...especially that squealer...hai...bye blog...dao me as usual...

the olympics today is crap...

li jiawei lost...hai sad...susilo also hor ur bf...nvm...next olympic jia you...that idiotic korean mofo...losing now...hah...sure lose one la...table tennis not for monsters to play...rite blog? dun act cool...haha...k...condemn koreans...

damn korean!

toopid noisy mofo korean...li jiawei!! u lost to a noisy monster!! nvm...u are better...coz they shld disqualify noisy monsters frm participating in the olympics...so sad leh...but u can still get the bronze...maybe the korean will lose the last match and lose her medal on her way back to korea...coz she too noisy den forget to bring it home...heh...all the way jiawei!! get the bronze!!

angry...

such a disappointment...haiz...dun trust u animore...fark off...bloody piss me off at the wrong time...how can u sae such things...two big disappointments...coming to and fro...like waves...i feel so dumb...everything makes sense now...nth is real animore eh...crap...
stop being someone u are not...even if u dun realli care or is it u are damn insensitive...u should noe ur limits...as a friend as u labelled urself...screw it la...u are so deluded...come back to reality man...u cannot be so far apart from wad u are...u are too much a perfectionist...u cannot colour reality into something else...something that suits u...and u bloody self righteous freak...you are not always right...if u deny...den why are u alwayz so defensive?? insecurity?? hah...screw u...i overlooked this disappointment once...why muz u bring it back...why muz u show ur true colours again...u were a friend rite? now i dun realli noe...
im more sad than angry...so sad dat i lost something else that gives me strength to hold on...haiz...i dun want all of u to become like that...hi bye hi bye hi bye...so this kinda friends are the best...coz the onli thing they do is to sae hi bye hi bye...now i noe eh...haha...bye...stupid blog...tell u so many things u dun even sae a word...wad kinda friend are u?!

today...

today...is a boring day...haha...xing fu zai na li...kuai chu lai...so difficult to find meh...'a' levels coming...im not afraid of it...forgot wad i wanted to sae to u stupid blog already...okee i'll stop here...bye...

hmmm...

today is juz another ordinary boring day...watched AVP...damn funny...im gonna make fwen wif a predator...den can get free gift...heh...haiz...think i've been too harsh on dat dumbass today...at kfc fah pi qi hor...paiseh leh...something's wrong wif me...up there...haha...haiz...sometimes i really hope u will turn back...so that we can talk about girls and stuff as usual...short of one kaki...so sian u noe...
been very bored...and empty...looking for entertainment...looking for ppl to talk to...looking to ppl hu are able to stand the irritating me...so difficult u noe u stupid blog...only noe how to mimick me...wad else do u noe...so dumb...everything's just not right...i dun feel good at all...everyday i come home wif disapointment and a tingling emptiness in the air...hah...serve me rite hor...for not being good enough...
i think we get together coz we need each other's company...not like last time...when we meet becoz we wanna talk to each other...becoz we are eager to tell each other something...or noe something about each other...i feel a lack of trust amongst us...why cant we be totally truthful with each other? why do u guyz deny things when u noe they are true? being defensive? why do u even act like someone else...ure not u at all damnit...and dun lie dat u did none of those...

yet another boring day...

before i forget...thnk u yixin! for ya sweets...hahaa...but i still everyday so sianz...no diffence one...and i realised i cannot write everything i feel in this blog thingy...juz so different...saeing it out is most appropriate...but still i dun remember things that i want to say...
so weird huh...the way people move along with time...some change for the better some change for the worse...i think i'm still trapped in the past...bad habit...sorrie brother...i noe u'll scold me for that...but u're so far...heh...moving on is tough...cant believe i still cannot accept this jc life...so uptight and unhappy...although i slack...but i dun slack mentally...i still worry now and then...juz that i dun voice it out...so many things to worry...even if i cast them away...they will still be sitting around some corner waiting to be spotted...
hah...realli hope my face will recover soon...i want better self-esteem! now that i got back my mp3 player...i got into some other mentally devastating scenario...i juz dun get it...wad am i so frustrated about...my mind seem to have some blockage...nth comes out...
blogging was something i disagreed with at first...but den i tot again...juz to kill boredom...and to rmb things...i have limited memory space...when the past juz stays rooted in there...everything is so vivid...juz like they juz happened yesterday...i got mixed up wif my dream for reality the other day...think i dreamt of recieving some lit notes...den i asked my lit rep bout it den she said there are no notes...hah...crap man...how cocked up can life get...
something else dat i dun understand...why is it dat i keep vomitting or feel like puking after meals...and i bloody cant stop coughing...punishment rite...for eating too much...dun like it...but hell...cant do anithing...see doctor? i refuse...
i dun seem to understand us humans...i dun like being one...we are assholes...dumbasses...egoistic freaks...haha...thinking too much ppl may say...but it aint too much...its everywhere...juz speakin the obvious thats overlooked...the dumbness of human beings...tryin to do things beyond ourselves...we weren't made to fly...we weren't made to study...we were't made to freakin' discriminate animals...we dun even have strong limps like big animals do...wad are we made for? we are omnivores eh...juz stay with the freakin animals!! cant we do juz dat?! zi tao ku chi like dat...finding individual goals of life...hah...excuses...excuses for unjustified actions...

b4 i forget...

thank you xue zhen...even though i dun really noe u well...it was nice of u to encourage me like that...=] i gotta find some kinda motivation le...'A' levels...cannot pray pray...but i think i'll still pray pray...nvm...maybe things will be fine at the end...hope so...

so boring...

so boring...home so early...and all alone...without food...its weird how people suddenly turn into another person in juz seconds...not as in mood swings...but changes in values...is being selfish and mean juz a defense mechanism? is that a valid reason for people to be mean and selfish? weird...doubt it...evil means evil...although all is evil...but there will be the eviler...hahaha...still so empty...aimless...nth to look forward to...hope somebody faster get into my life and give me the spark again...lost it for so long already...but kinda impossible...coz im not really doing anithing...

another boring day...

boring day...as usual...alot on my mind...dun noe how to start...hmm...i'll start frm here den...hmmm...SAD!!! after so long...i still feel the void in my heart...there's something there...but that big hollow thing is takin up all the bloody space!!! screwed lor...
why is it so difficult to find someone who can truely converse with me...and the ones i find are far away...sad eh...im suay...hah...i've been very bo liao...getting more and more sadistic...haiz...sad...i hate my face...pls get better...i need my self esteem...

first post

everyday is boring...including today...didnt like blogs at all...dont noe why i created one...but nobody noes aniway...why am i still so sad...maybe it became a tumour inside of me...cannot take out already...muz operate...that's sad too...school is boring...so very boring...everything sucks...yeah everything!!